What the Smart Mommies Buy

It's hard being a new mommy; the most challenging thing I've done so far.  It's also hard to face Babies R Us with your scanner-trigger-happy husband as your only comfort and support (the Pransome Hince had to hold me while I cried in the parking lot outside Babies R Us after our first registry visit).  Here's a list of all the stuff I've found to be absolutely necessary tools in the first 2 years of mommyhood and beyond.  

This list is to be used for your information.  It's my opinion based on LOTS of research into the best products 7 years ago, and my experience raising 3 children born in 4 years.  Use whatever is useful. Disregard the rest as my dubiously helpful advice.

What the Smart Mommies buy 

(and why!)*

By: The know-it-all Mommy

Gear  (sometimes spending more at the outset saves in the end):

 

            BabyTrend Flex Loc car seat (because of the many hand positions you can use to hold it; lets you hold the carrier much more naturally—some problems with adjusting the handle, and shoulder straps getting twisted, but for me, this is worth it for the handle.) Lots of people like their Graco--they’re certainly prettier! Just remember: pink carseats are great...what if you have a boy second? Light upholstery looks nice new...what about when the baby is 10 months and you've taken the thing everywhere for the past 300 days?

            Snap-n-go stroller or other universal stroller frame It’s way lighter than those strollers that are common to travel systems.  Trust me, you don’t want to be lifting 20+ pounds anytime after giving birth *shudder*.  When you have two little kids, I like the Joovy Caboose.  Phil and Ted's was my dream stroller.

             *quality*light weight stroller as the baby grows out of the infant car seat, especially if you expect to have several babies in a row  We got a Maclaren because they are designed for tall people (Matt wanted the option of pushing).  
            ErgoBaby carrier  It works with a newborn AND a 20 + lb baby--Baby Born doesn’t. Th baby can be worn in the front or back. We never used a baby sling, but I'm beginning to think it makes for happy and more secure infants. 

            Mini (travel)pack n play (unless you plan on using it as a playpen, in which case, a regular sized one.)  Works PERFECTLY for keeping the baby next to the bed. It's also a great bassinet. Ben spent his first 6 months in our closet in his travel pack n play. If you plan on using it for vacations, use a hotel towel to set up a changing station on the desk that most hotels provide.  By the time the baby's big enough to grow out of the little pack n play, they won't need a pen to sleep in.

            Boosterseat with a tray I don't like plastic high chairs: too unsightly, doesn’t let you “eat” with baby, takes up lots of room, though they do roll nicely across the floor…

            Bounceror table-top swing

            Sometimes a big floor toy is nice to keep them occupied during tummy/floor time.  Also, my boys have LOVED their Graco Bumper Jumper at about 4 or 5 months.

            Crib

            Dressers work great as changing tables.  Just put the changing pad on top of them.  I hung shelves above the dresser for wipes and diapers.  Also, our dresser has a mirror attached: babies LOVE to look at themselves, and I use it to my advantage to keep them from squirming while dressing.

            I’ve heard gliders are nice to nurse in. I don’t like the way gliders look, though they have some now that look more like “real” furniture.  Obviously, one isn’t required—but make sure you have some sort of support for the first few months.  See my recommendation for “My Breast Friend” below as my answer to this problem.

            TotLocks for when the baby starts getting into things.  Tot Locks are great.  They work using a magnetic “key”.  You cannot get into the cabinet or make it move in any way without the key, but here’s why these are worth it: you can turn the lock off anytime you want.  No more frustrating stuck cabinets!

            We haven’t worried about getting a baby bathtub, and have done sink baths for each newborn using rag towels.  Matt went to a Daddy Boot camp before Lu was born where he was trained in how to do newborn baths.  He’s done all the kid’s baths ever since, which is greatly appreciated by the Momma.

Stuff:

            Don’t worry about clothes, toys or blankets until after all your showers.  Most people give these things as shower gifts (especially for girls).  Also, baby booties mostly fall off, as do most dressy baby socks.  When/if you DO buy clothes, make sure you buy the right size for the right season!  I had lots of really cute summer girl dresses for Lucy that started to fit in November.   In my experience, girls stay true to size, and boys are about a size up. (buy 18 mos for a 12 mos boy, etc)  Adjustable elastic waists in pants are worth their weight in gold!!

            Get a package of cloth baby diapers to use as spit up rags.  My grandma made mine from Gerber white cloth pre-fold baby diapers from Target and sewed a piece of cute fabric down the middle of oneside.  Get 4 cloths to start out, and then get more when you figure it out.

            Also see if you can find long-sleeved infant shirts with the fold-over mittencuffs.  Shirts or onesies are great, whole sleeper outfits are even better.  The hospitals all have these, but they’re actually really hard to find in stores. =/  These keep your newborn from scratching themselves.  Lucy was always able to shake those hand mittens off.  Try a Google search for some you like.

            Wipewarmer: not for the warm wipes, but for the anchor they provide.  Those plastic wipe dispensers dispense well, until you’re toward the bottom of the stack of wipes, and then you have to use one hand to anchor them (or, if you’re like me, fling them around until you can get the wipe out).

            Mobile.  Make sure to hang it low over the changing table or baby’s bed.  Ours has a knot in it (Matt tied it) that makes the length of ribbon adjustable so we can make it higher as the baby gets older.

            Good, high color contrast baby books.  I like Black & White by Tana Hoban.  If you invite me to your shower, you just might get one!  Also good children’s board book literature.  You should be reading these books over and over again from the start.  I found Dr. Seuss too cloying, but love, love, love almost anything by Sandra Boynton.

             I don’t like diaper bags and only have a small one with just diapers, wipes, as disposable waterproof changing pad and pacifier for bringing into nurseries and for church, or to put in the back of the stroller.  I’m kind of a do-with-what-you-have person (I carry a teeny-tiny purse), and keep diapers and wipes in the car.  If we’re shopping and have a wet diaper, the baby is fine till we get to the car or home unless I’m marathon shopping (which hasn’t happened since before I had babies, anyway).  For larger bags, I like the skip-hop.  Whatever bag you get is gong to get trashed.

            A smaller convexmirror that has a suction cup and attaches to the front or back windshield.  I could never get those huge cute convex mirrors adjusted right when Lucy was in her infant seat.  I found if I used the one attached to the windshield, I could use it to vaguely figure out what was going on and determine if I needed to stop or not.

            Diapers.  Huggies leaked a lot on my kids, and Pampers are great, but mostly, the cheaper diapers work just as well.  This is a kind of trial and error process.  We like Costco diapers, but if you have a Sams membership, the Pampers there are just about the same cost. Cloth diapers are popular now. I figured all the time and grossness and worry and attention they require wasn't worth it.

            Wipes.  I like the Costco Kirkland/Sams Club Member’s Mark kind because you have the option of taking one of the packs in the car (each package is designed to dispense).  We can cut them open easily to put the wipes into the wipes warmer.

            Bottles.  Even if you plan to breast feed, these are good to have around for babysitters or grandmas to give formula or expressed breast milk.  I like Avent, but it’s kind of a personal choice everyone has to make.  Dr. Browns seems nice, especially because they are glass.

            I haven’t really found a monitor to be necessary.  Hearing my babies breathe just keeps me from going to sleep.  If they wake up and cry, I can hear them well enough to tell if they are hungry or just pulling my chain. We had friends with a camera monitor that looked like a flower.  It was hilarious to watch the baby talking to it, but again, I'm glad I didn't have one. I'd never get anything done during naptime.

            I like the Diaper Champ over the Diaper Genie.  Diaper Champ is cheaper because it uses regular trash bags rather than the expensive refills.  We eventually got an infra red trash can which automatically opens/closes.  This works for a week with just wet diapers, and gets pretty stinky when it opens towards the end, but it’s nice not to have to touch anything when disposing of a diaper. Just don’t put really stinky diapers in it (we put the once daily dirties in grocery sacks and put them in the outside trash right away).  

Nursing:

            MyBreast Friend.  Dumb name, I know, but I found it provides more support than a Boppy, and sticks right where you want it when you attach it around your waist to keep the baby latched on in the correct position, saving strain on your arm and back.  There’s a reason that many lactation nurses have one hanging inside the door of their office.  Plus, it’s nice to have a tangible measure of how your waist is shrinking over the weeks you nurse as you take in more slack on the belt.
            I found a nursing cover to be necessary.  I know, I know, we're free to expose our breasts in the name of feeding our children and that's beautiful yada,yada.  You know what's NOT beautiful? A post-partum mommy struggling to get her kid to latch while everyone attempts to look away.  A beautiful cover up is great; "pay no attention to what is happening behind the curtain". You can easily make them, too.

            Something to do while you nurse.  I  have had friends who have either quick/easy nursers so boredom while nursing was never a problem for them.  If you find yourself nursing for a whole hour each time (Lucy), or having to have one arm holding your baby’s head to you (Joshua/Benjamin), you might want to figure out what you want to watch on TV/Movie or books on Cd/podcasts to listen to.  Books can be hard to hold. One note, though, I recently heard that babies are actually aware of the TV their Mommies watch, so consider books on tape, etc.

            A goodnursing bra.  I like the Lifestyle Microfiber and the Silky (something) bras by Bravado.  They actually look like real bras!  Yay!  I have two, because you’re doing the laundry a lot with an infant, so I just toss them in the wash.  While we’re on this subject, if you have your baby in the summer, you may want nursing tank tops to avoid the extra layers.  I like the kind from (of all places) Target.  Don’t get white.  Your nipples show through.

            Nursing pads (or you could carry around a water bottle for when you leak in public to pour down your shirt, thus making it look like you just spilled water on yourself). 

            Breast pump.  I have the Avent Isis.  It works well for the rare pumping, and even for occasional pumping, or for when you are so engorged you’re dying.  If you’re doing more, you definitely want a fancy-shmancy electric one.  I’ve heard good things about Medela.  You can rent professional ones from most hospitals.

            The NursingMother’s Companion.  I don’t think I knew how to get a baby latched on correctly until I read the detailed instructions in the Nursing Mother’s Companion with Joshua--and I had had several consultations with lactation experts with both Joshua and Lucy!  Look into your local La Leche League, too.  Nursing is really, really hard for the first few weeks in particular, but also for the first 4-6 months until your baby starts solid foods.  You’re doing it so much and you are the ONLY one who can do it, whether you are tired, or cranky, or crying, or (one time) vomiting in rain, shine, sleet, hail, or dead of night.  If you go into it thinking that you’ll supplement formula, or that you’ll “just try it” your chances of nursing for even the first 6 months are pretty slim!  I certainly would have quit in the first 3 weeks each time if Matt hadn’t been there cheering me on!!

            Nursing logs.  For the first few sleep deprived days or nights, it’s helpful to keep a nursing log of when you nursed, on which side you started, and how long the baby nursed on each side.  It helps track how long its been since the baby nursed, how much its been getting, what time of day it is, what day it is, and it’s also useful for pity pleas to your husband and others who ask how everything is going (“well, I was up at 12, 2, 4, and then the baby slept until 7:30.  3 blessed hours of sleep!”).  Also, if feeding is not going well, your child’s pediatrician is going to be asking for some concrete data.  I made mine in Excel.  After awhile, you learn to just grab your boobs and decide which one to start on based on their size. No one ever said it was elegant.

*Obviously, anything that comes to you for free is better than any of these things that you would otherwise have to buy…except for maybe the car seat, since you’ll be using it so much.  Anyway, that’s why this is called, “What the Smart Mommies BUY”.

Reading Resources:

Shepherding a Child’s Heart   by Ted Tripp.  This is a seminal book for many parents.  It talks about how to discipline your child in a Godly and loving way.  At the very least, it gets you and your husband talking about how you want to raise your child so that you’re on the same page, which is more important than any technique.

Loose Your Mummy Tummy by Julie Tupler  Excellent book, does just what it says.  Ms. Tupler also has a book called MaternalFitness: Preparing for a Healthy Pregnancy , and Easier Labor and a QuickRecovery, which is great for training for the marathon of labor!

The Nursing Mother’s Companion  See above for reasons.

Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron  She gets kinda crazy sometimes, but has good baby nutritional info in there, some good ideas on what and when to feed baby (like plain yogurt and avocado, for instance), and when to introduce what kinds of foods. One of her best tips? Kids don't know what tastes good. Don't over salt-fat-season food to start good, healthy eating practices now. We ended up making most of our baby food, because I just don't think Gerber is as healthy as real, and it's not that much harder to bake and mush a sweet potato. A baby food grinder is great to take out to restaurants. Start kids eating what you eat!

Melinda Bryan Pilates for Pregnancy  This is a DVD that has a good work out in it, but mostly what I found to be especially helpful were the exercises for pushing that helped me visualize what pushing actually meant.  I only pushed for an hour with #1, for about 20 mins with #2, and 5 mins with #3, because I knew which muscles to use, because of her exercises.

You can get What to Expect the First Year for a reference.  I didn’t refer to it nearly as much as my What to Expect When You’re Expecting book.  It’s good for infant Tylenol to weight ratios.  I relied most on my babycenter updates to let me know how Lucy should be developing.  We also have the Academy of Pediatrics book which we got from the hospital as part of my hospital discharge package.  It’s good too.

Slow and Steady Get Me Ready by June Oberlander  Whether you plan to home school or not, this book starts you off with educational things you can do with your child each week of their first 5 years.  We don’t do these religiously, but always enjoy them when we do, and I feel like I’ve added to my children’s development just that much more. 
Curious about homeschooling? Read The Well Trained Mind.  It'll blow yours.

Yes, we've fit as many as 4 children on our Joovy Caboose.

Whew!  That's it! Is that enough?  Not nearly, but it's a good start.  Mommyhood is hard.  First, it's kinda boring, but that changes fast, so sleep a lot that first year, 'kay?

Love,
Little Miss Bossy