Those Hateful Wood Puzzles

Hello Free Beach Bag.  You sure are ugly--but in a bright way!  You know the best thing about you?  You're made of fabric.  Fabric can be cut and re-purposed quite easily.  Yes, when I look at you, I don't see a bag: I see a solution to a problem.

You see, Free Beach Bag, I really hate wooden puzzles.  Oh, I know that they're great for early childhood development, with their sensory development and all, but they're bad on the clean up.  You put them away, but then they tip just a bit, or get bumped, and before you know it, you have to do the puzzle again. Did you know that there are even holders designed for wooden puzzles to help with this problem?  There are. Too bad wooden puzzles are all sorts of shapes, sizes and widths.

Your contribution is so, so helpful.  My life is better for having met you.

Traveling with Toddlers

The Slapdashery used to be a traveling society.  Yes, the Pransome Hince used to have a more student-like schedule, forcing us to find something to do for long periods of time 4 times a year.  Since there's nothing more luxuriant or time-consuming as travel (especially when living apart from the near and dear), that's what we did.  Every.  Single.  Time.

This may seem somewhat crazy to most anyone who has had three children in 4 years, and it really was, but God gives grace, and we muddled through.

As I prepare to travel again (this time with 2 connections) I reflect on my traveling-with-toddler strategy:

• Pack as concisely as possible.  More stuff=more balls to juggle.  Strap everything down: roller suitcases, booster seats, and children.  Nothing should move unless you push it, kick it, pull it, lift it.
• Request a car seat bag when checking the car seat, or it comes back covered in all sorts of mysterious substances.
• Never go through security alone with the under-4 set.  I did this once and almost cried but for the kind assistance from a man named Muhammad (there's irony for you).
• Never allow your toddler to leave your side while near security.  The TSA starts yelling when small people wander into certain areas.
• Bring empty sippy cups. Have flight attendants fill with juice/water combo when they come around.
• Dress everyone in slouch wear. Your days of wearing high heels and makeup to fly are temporarily over.  Everyone wears elastic waists (so much easier using the restroom after changing a diaper if you only have to pull down) and slip on shoes.  Kids should wear Crocs because they are so easy to put on, a two year old can do it.
• Arrange to nurse on take off and landing, or have a passy in hand to help pop little baby/toddler ears. Happy ears=less screaming=happier cabin mates.
• DON'T forget a deflated balloon.  Blow it up when you reach your next connecting flight at the airport, or anytime you have to wait. AVOID AIRPORT "PLAY AREAS".  Oh the germs! 
• Remember: when your kid melts down in the middle of Dulles and has a tantrum after you've gotten on the escalator, but before they do; I feel your pain.

Housewifery

My Grandma, the wise lady who once told me that I'd treat my husband like I treat my brother (and I was like, ha-ha, Grandma, there's no way my husband will annoy me this much), takes umbrage at being called a housewife:

"I married my husband, not my house."


Too right.  So many of us "SAHMs"--it took me forever to figure out that means Stay At Home Mom, so if you're a dummy like me..now you know--try to find other words to describe what we do: Domestic Engineer, wife and mom, stay at home mom, soccer mom.

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal once about the problems that stay at home dad's were having in society, as they didn't have a group to fit in socially.  It's kinda true.  Every time I've met a stay at home dad, I've thought, "I guess we know who's career was doing better."...and I have very little to say to the poor guy.  What do we have in common, right?  Diapers?  I planned to be doing what I'm doing--so much so that I consider this my first career.
WSJ's advice?  When asked, just say you are what you used to do.  Now, that doesn't work as well for me, who used to be a junior supervisor at a pharmacy helpdesk, but if I was an architect (the example WSJ used), now that would be great.  Cuz you never stop being an architect, right?  But, saying, "I'm a stay at home mom" is a similar conversation killer when you're in a room full of type-A people with their typical careers.  I have a brain, and can talk about stuff other than what has been happening on HGTV, or how hard it is to potty train someone who has a hose for a urinary tract!

I was thinking along those lines when I thought, "I home school.  That's legitimate.  I'm providing a personalized education for my 3 children.  I planned to do this since I was 19.  It's my first career, and one that I'm very passionate about.  Just because I don't have to file taxes for it, doesn't mean it's not valid."

So now when asked what I do, I proudly say, "I home school my children."  And you know what?  I've been having some very scintillating conversations.

Oh, and my linked in profile?  It says I'm the Director of Development.

I don't mean to brag...

But I'm, like, the best cook EVAR!
Okay, not really. I don't really think that, but I AM willing to put in minimal time for maximum flavor.
So, when I made Granola and Brownie in a Mug and gave them as cheap-o Dave Ramsey Christmas gifts and then got compliments, well, let's just say it went to my head.

So, for the few, the proud, who got my cheap-as-free gifts, here are the recipes:
Granola
(adapted from Megan's Granola on Allrecipes)

• 8 cups rolled oats
• 1.4 cup sunflower seeds
• Up to 3 cups combined of any nuts you like
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 3/4 cup honey
• 1/2 cup coconut oil
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups raisins or sweetened dried cranberries

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Line two large baking sheets with parchment or aluminum foil.
2. Combine the oats, wheat germ, oat bran, sunflower seeds, almonds, pecans, and walnuts in a large bowl. Stir together the salt, brown sugar, maple syrup, honey, oil, cinnamon, and vanilla in a saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat, then pour over the dry ingredients, and stir to coat. Spread the mixture out evenly on the baking sheets.
3. Bake in the preheated oven until toasted, about 20 minutes. Stir once halfway through. Remove from oven. Stir in the raisins or cranberries, then, using a paper towel, press down gently all over to make tasty chunks.  Cool completely before storing in an airtight container. 

Brownie in a Mug (adapted from an internet website, but I've made it so many times, it's mine)

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon oil
• 1 tablespoon water
• dash of salt
• 1/8 teaspoon vanilla
• dash of cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon cocoa
• 3 tablespoons sugar
• 3 tablespoons flour

Directions

1. Whisk together oil, water, vanilla and salt in a microwavable mug.
2. Add dry ingredients, whisking after each addition.
3. Place mug in microwave, and heat on high for 40-60 seconds, using less time for a "fudgier" brownie, more for a "cakier" one.
4. Carefully remove and enjoy!

Fairy Wings!

A favorite friend was turning three.  We have zero moula budgeted for a three-year-old's birthday.

Dave Ramsey inspiration: no $= perspiration.

When Chicken Lu was 3, the Pransome Hince and I got her some phat fairy wings. 

After we laid down a hefty chunk of Fanny Mae's money, I started looking at construction of the wings.  Made of wire hangers and pantyhose.  I never feel worse than when I've spent money on something I TOTALLY could have made with stuff I throw out.  I'm just cheap like that.

Yes, I throw out wire hangers.  I'm crazy like Joan Crawford. "No more wire hangers!"  I think I said that to my husband once in a fit of rage...or maybe I'm just remembering the movie, but we do have a metal-free closet. 100% wood.

But I digress (per usual) (see? even my digressions have digressions).  I gathered up some stowaway hangers from the dry cleaner, some unused panty hose (not because I have so many, but because I only wear them when I'm in weddings...so I have two pair), some 11 year old acrylic paint which I used to make my Sketchers blue for my wedding day, pliers, a sourced picture of a blue morpho butterfly, electrical tape and some muscle, and got to work. Oh, yeah, and this tutorial.

Hmm.. See if we can get these together here... Honey!?!

See what I mean about the muscle?

So pretty...maybe a little big for a 3 year old, though!

Writer's Block

I wish I had a computer in the bathroom.

Historically, that's where all my good ideas hit.

Seriously, I've composed the most interesting blog posts while brushing my teeth (then promptly forgotten them all).  Some of my best facebook statusi have struck whilst washing my hair.  Out goes the man, in goes the ideas.  In grade school I once thought up on the toilet the very witty quip, "Make like the Red Sea and part" to say when in a crowded situation.  Hey. It made my friends laugh because we were all 11, and in private school.

So, next time I'm in the WC dancing nekkid to I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You and come up with something truly clever, I'm gonna run straight to my desk in the middle of my very window-ed kitchen and just type it out.  Neighbors be damned!

Till then, I'm going to bed.